After I last posted, the details were set to pick Thera up. This was actually set up to occur the day after we got the lead rope on her. So I went home all excited that our progress together was moving forward very quickly. Much quicker than I thought possible. The next morning I hooked up the trailer and told all the horses that Thera was finally coming home to be with us. I picked up my dear friends Buddy and Lisa and we headed to the horse rescue.

When we arrived, the owner of the horse rescue met us at the barn and had a funny look on her face. I asked what was going on and she said, “Thera got her lead rope off.” Now this is just plain amazing because we are talking about a lead rope that releases by pulling down a spring on it. I am having trouble describing this for all of you non-horsey people, but basically you need a hand with fingers and an opposable thumb to release this sucker. I just went over to Thera’s stall and looked at her and I swear she had the biggest smile on her face. Readers, file this away in your head, because since she came home, there have been several events surrounding this horse of equal question.

So the rescue owner suggested I go in her stall and put the lead rope back on her. The way she had previously done this was to get Thera moving in the stall by swinging the lead rope at her and then basically throwing the lead rope over her neck and lassoing her to catch up and then quickly attach the lead to her halter. I immediately had visions of the similarity to how she had been rounded up and did not have a good feeling about this. But I set that aside and went in the stall hoping that our previous time connecting would make a difference. I tried to “catch” her for about 10 minutes and the only thing that happened was my anxiety and frustration level rose and so did Thera’s. We weren’t getting anywhere except closer to a major fear explosion and that is not how I wanted to begin this journey with this horse. I finally stopped and stepped out and asked the rescue owner if she would do it. She agreed and it took her awhile, but she “caught” Thera and got the lead on. I took the lead from her and stood in the stall with Thera who looked completely freaked out. I spent some time talking with her until it looked like she had returned to her body and was present again. The trailer was ready to go and I walked Thera out of her stall. The rescue owner took the lead from me (at my request) and led her into the trailer with me encouraging her from behind. Thera just walked right on the trailer without any issue. We said our goodbyes and loaded up in my truck and began the journey home. Several times I looked out my side mirror and could see Thera standing quietly in the trailer, munching on hay and just watching the scenery pass by.

Buddy, Lisa and I pulled up to the ranch and all the horses were standing by the back gate waiting for us. If you are a horse person, you know that when a new horse shows up, the others are running up and down the fence line just to get a good look. Well, my group was absolutely silent. The 5 of them were lined up all together, quietly watching and waiting. Interesting! So I opened the back of the trailer and Thera was standing there still munching hay and completely quiet and calm. I went inside and untied her lead rope and we stepped out of the trailer together. She stopped and looked around and then looked at the rest of the horses. Magno, my ginormous horse, sent a low pitched nicker her way. The others continued to stay absolutely still, quiet and watching. Thera looked at them and whinnied back. I led Thera into the barn and into her stall. The other horses following along the outside of the barn to watch. She went into her stall without issue and looked out her open window at the others. They were all clamoring around the back gate to get a glimpse of her. She went back into her stall to eat some hay I had set up for her. After awhile the other horses left their viewing point, except for Moonbeam. She is the mother in this herd. She stood looking at me as if to say, “Please let me in.” I opened the back gate and Moonbeam quietly walked in to the area outside of Thera’s stall. I watched her very slowly and carefully walk up to the closed dutch door on Thera’s stall. They she gingerly looked over the side almost as if she was checking on a newborn. I saw Thera’s nose peak out above the stall door and the two girls shared a breath between nostrils. Normally with mares, there would be a lot of screaming and drama, but not with these two. They made their connection and then Moonbeam stepped away from the stall door and walked back over to me and then over to gate. She stopped and looked at me like, “Ok, I’m done, please let me out now.” So I did. She returned back to the rest of the herd. All remained quiet the remainder of the day.

Thera was finally home and this adventure is only beginning!

During my next visit with her, I came into the stall with a handful of hay. She immediately stepped close and took this from my hand. A huge first for her according to the rescue owner! WooHoo!

I brought the lead rope into the stall and set it on the ground next to me. I put carrots on it and started talking about how it was a connection line between us. She looked at me very intently and then looked away very purposefully. If she could’ve rolled her eyes, she would have!  Ok, so she wasn’t buying that one. I put a carrot out between us and she accepted this peace offering. Then she began nosing around the lead rope for the other carrot bits while simultaneously checking out the offending intruder. She blew on it, looked at me and blew on it some more. Then she took a step back and away. Just watching me. I sat quietly and realized I was feeling a little anxious so I just took some deep breaths and pictured what I wanted to do together with her – connecting the lead rope to her halter and standing together. I put some carrot bites on the ground in between us. She took each one, while coming closer and closer to my body. Then she grazed my foot with her whiskers. The next piece of carrot was at my hand resting on the ground. She came to take this one and touched my hand with her whiskers very slowly, allowing this first physical connection between us. There was no fear present, just both of us stepping forward in courage and continuing to create trust between us. I felt so much heart energy and love in that moment that it brought tears to my eyes. The words that came into my head in that moment were, “When you stay in your heart, beautiful things happen.”

I went out to visit Thera again the next day and the rescue owner came out to greet me very excitedly! She said, “Guess what I did? I got the lead rope on Thera!” Wow! Our next steps had just jumped tremendously! I will admit that part of me was a little sad that I was not the one to do this, but I quickly decided there was a bigger reason for this and just went with it.

I went to Thera’s stall and she looked me with this very “knowing” expression on her face. She took a bit of a step away when I entered and I waited for her to settle in our shared space. The lead rope was on the ground, extended out toward me. I gently moved my foot on top of it and gave her a minute. She tensed up and then relaxed. I slowly leaned down to pick it up. Again Thera tensed up, but relaxed quickly. I talked to her about us walking out of the stall and walking around together, while picturing what this looked like in my head. She watched me. The rescue owner opened her stall door and I began to walk out, with a bit of slack in the lead rope. Thera hesitated and then followed me. We stopped in the aisle of the barn and I just took some deep breaths. Thera was looking at me like she didn’t know what might be coming next. I just murmured soothing words and kept breathing. She relaxed a bit. I asked her to walk with me by taking a step forward and she followed immediately about a step behind. I practiced stopping and starting a few times in the aisleway to make sure we were communicating with each other clearly. She responded to each movement of my body. I did not have to pull on the rope in any way. We walked out of the barn and into a bigger outside enclosure. I wasn’t sure what she might do as she had not been out of her stall in close to 2 months now. She continued walking with me, a little unsure at times but continuing to move forward. Each time I felt her shifting security, I took a deep breath and focused on staying connected to my heart and quieting my head.

What continues to fascinate me constantly about Thera is the way her energy feels. It is so completely different than any horse I have ever been around. It is so “alive” and almost like a fire is burning around her in that everything is “on” and alert – not like she is panicking, but just turned up a thousand notches compared to other horse energy. This is something I have had to get used to and remind myself that fear is an unnecessary response. Instead, just breathing  and knowing it is simply the essence of who she is – a Mustang who is used to living in an expanded state for awareness. Being in her presence is a powerful reminder of what this expansive state truly feels like.

As we were walking around in this new open space I felt it even more keenly which I’m sure was her expanding to take in the bigger space and surroundings. We practiced turning, standing still, and moving forward. She stayed at my shoulder the entire time. Again, I did not have to pull on the rope in any way to communicate what we were doing. The communication was existing in the space between us. A very tangible field existing between our bodies that was communicating everything.  Never once did she try to take off or pull away. There was one time when I moved too quickly toward her and she raised her head very high as if she was protecting herself from being hurt. She reminded me that it was going to take some time for each of us to get to know the other’s manner of communication. I stopped and breathed and said out loud that I was going to make some mistakes but would do my best to learn as quickly as possible about her and invited her to do the same with me. She relaxed her head back down and looked at me.

Thera shared powerful reminders to me about creating a relationship with any being. How our body language and even the energy around our space is communicated to those around us we are attempting to create relationship with. That it  is not always necessary to have physical contact with another being to have a deep connection. Sometimes, in the “in between spaces” there is much power and information and maybe that is all that is needed in a moment of interaction.

As we continued to walk together in our connected space, the other horses at the center were calling to her. Thera would look at them and just stay right in the moment with what we were doing. I do not have words to continue describing how profound this moment was between us. We had definitely taken a huge step together though. Now I knew that the time was right to plan her transition home to our ranch.

Hoofbeats…

Thera and I have continued on in our relationship building. I have been spending lots of time with her at the horse rescue over the last few weeks in the hopes that she will trust me enough…funny to even type that as I’m wondering what does that even mean? What is enough trust? Trust enough to do what?…that seems like a  very human oriented thinking process.

Anyway…During my second visit, she whinnied as I pulled up in my truck. I could not imagine a better welcome from a horse! She watched with her ears all perked up and eyes with rapt attention on me and my movements toward her. I sat outside her stall for awhile as it seems that she really needs a few minutes to adjust to new things that come into her environment.  After a bit, she took a deep breath and walked closer to where I was sitting. I offered a carrot on the ground and she gladly accepted.

Thera has about a 2 foot bubble of space around her and does not like anyone to come closer than that. So that means touching her is not allowed at this point. I wanted to play around a bit with the energy boundary around her. Maybe she would feel more comfortable with my interacting from that hands off space. I stood up to enter her stall and she looked out toward the road. I turned to see what she was looking at and about 5 seconds later, a mail truck came around the corner down the road and pulled up to the center’s mailbox. This distance was about the length of an American football field. I looked back at Thera and she was looking at me very intently, almost as if she was reminding me of the boundaries of her energetic space. And here I was already way inside it. Point taken!

I entered her stall and she moved away. I waited until she looked at me as that seemed to be her signal that she was adjusted and ok with next steps. She looked at me and I just made sure I was breathing. I noticed her eyes relaxed even more when I did this. I just talked in a low voice about touching her from a distance. She continued to look at me curiously. I raised my hand slowly and mimicked the action of stroking her neck. She flinched the moment I did this and shifted her weight away from me. I was standing about 3 feet from her body mind you. I held my hand still and she relaxed. She started licking and chewing, so I began moving my hand again, more slowly this time. She was ok with this. I moved in the direction of her shoulder and she allowed this as well. When I moved my hand in the direction of her head, she moved to the other side of her stall very quickly. Ok, way too much! I dropped my hand and she turned and looked at me. I continued talking to her and she relaxed the “on guard” position of her body. I took a step toward her and again that was too much. I dropped down to a knees on top of feet of position and she relaxed. I put a carrot out closer to her which she accepted. Then I offered another one a step closer to me. She walked forward and took this as well. Then I placed another a few inches from my feet. She pondered that one a bit. She looked at me. Looked at the carrot. She took a big breath and  then took a step forward for the carrot.

She stayed where she was, inches away from me, and again I just felt this deep connection between us. So different than any of the other horses I have been around. Her energy has almost an “edge” to it that always feels as if is about to take off and fly at a moment’s notice. This is an essence of her that I have to get used to as I notice that it always evokes fear in me when I experience this from her.  She looked up again and out toward one of the other horse pastures. I followed her gaze and didn’t see anything. She took a step away from me to get a better view of something, very intent on whatever her focus was. She stepped more to the center of her stall and seemed to hunker down inside herself. About a minute later a huge wind came gusting through and kicked up a dirt tornado that came right up to the entrance of the barn before it dissipated. After this blew through, she looked at me as if she was making sure I understood that once again, she felt that big wind coming. I nodded to her and her eyes relaxed. She took a step back closer to me. I gave her several carrots again, leading up to my feet, which she quickly moved to claim without any concern of me sharing her space. After she finished her carrot bits, she stood close to me just breathing. Horse Blessings are just indescribable in human words!

So I am in the process of adopting a Mustang. There has always been something for me about this magical breed. Free, Magestic, Keeper of their Own Being and Soul. They live in the pure essence of horse as they were originally created and meant to be.

When I began looking for a Mustang to join our herd, I found Thera on the website of a local horse rescue organization – Hope For Horses. Thera is 16 y.o. and was rounded up when she was 8. She was on her way to the slaughter house when she was rescued and soon after had a son. Her son was adopted out soon afterward. She has not had much human interaction and remains wary of people – rightly so given her original experiences.

Thera is extra special because she is a member of the Pryor Mountain Mustang herd which is located on the border of Montana and Wyoming. The Pryor Mountain Herd is noteworthy as they are original descendants of the Spanish Conquistador horses.

Before Thera comes to our ranch, I have been spending time with her a couple of days a week. Just sitting with her and creating the space for each of us to get to know each other and begin to build a bond of trust. She has a definite personal space bubble around her and is not ready for people to put their hands on her at this time.

The energy around this horse is so completely different than anything I have ever experienced. Our words do not even come close to describing it. The best I can do is to explain an interaction I had with her during my first visit. I sat in her stall with her and started putting carrot pieces on the stall floor. Slowly she came closer and began to accept my little gifts. After awhile, I put a piece of carrot right next to my shoe. She came to take it and then lifted her head right above mine and moved her muzzle slowly and very deliberately right above the top of my head. Like she was taking me in through all of her senses. What I felt was her breath over my head and at the same time, felt her presence. This presence was ALIVE and Magnetic and Powerful. Honestly, those three words do not even do justice to the experience but they will have to do. I felt she shared such a special and divine gift with me, right in that moment.

So for right now, this blog is about my budding relationship with this special mare. More to come!